Monthly Archives: May 2009

Resistance

Games You Play Against You

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lonelygameWhile you are busy being the best possible version of yourself, remember that you, too, are human. Unless you’re a Virgo (or perhaps especially if you are a Virgo), your ups will be counterbalanced by some downs. Dr. Seuss warned about them in Oh, the Places You’ll Go!:

Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
’cause you’ll play against you.

A few lonely games are:

Procrastination
Perfectionism
Self-doubt
I’m Not Worthy
Mindless TV Marathon
I Drink Alone

The degree to which you demonstrate excellence depends largely on the size of your collection and where you keep it. If you store Self-doubt and Procrastination at the back of a closet in a spare room, they won’t rob you of too many opportunities to be famous. A few rounds of Perfectionism might culminate in something useful, and a few hours of Mindless TV Marathon can be an opportunity to let your subconscious work fiercely in the background while you give the rest of your brain some R&R. However, if your lonely games are prominently displayed and easily accessible, they will only serve to defeat you.

Lonely games are all forms of resistance, the enemy of progress. If you don’t already own it, you should buy a copy of Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art and keep it within reach. Despite the word “Art” in the title, the book applies to any endeavor that requires breathing.

Remember, falling down is inevitable; getting up every time is excellent.

Do you recognize your own lonely games? How do you win them?

Authenticity

Be Who You Are, Not Who You Think Others Want You to Be

To wake up famous is to be the best possible version of yourself without worrying what others think of you. You will not please everyone, all the time. In fact, this is a good gauge of your authenticity: if everybody else is thrilled with you, you are acting outside your highest integrity. Chances are, YOU are unhappy. What is the point of being famous if you are miserable?

In the book Purple Cow, Seth Godin says:

If you’re remarkable, it’s likely that some people won’t like you. That’s part of the definition of remarkable. Nobody gets unanimous praise–ever. The best the timid can hope for is to be unnoticed. Criticism comes to those who stand out.

Einstein, who was decidedly remarkable, observed:

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

I don’t mean to suggest that you deliberately make people unhappy; just understand that their happiness is not your responsibility.

Emotions and opinions are not static. Neither is fame. Think of excellence as your practice; it is a craft you will continually improve.

And when you make mistakes? Celebrate them for what they are: evidence that you are learning and improving.

At the end of the day, fall asleep knowing that you will wake up famous tomorrow.

Mortality

She Wasn’t Famous Long Enough

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Last night, I read something on Twitter that made me laugh enough to visit the poster’s profile. Once there, I decided to click through to his web site, where I read the following, dated May 11:

“I regret to write that Jamie Leigh Dyer Dordek, known to many of us as yellowsuitcase and @jamield, passed away on Sunday. Her death appears to be related to a blood clot from her fall in Ireland.”

Having recently seen false “reports” of celebrity deaths on Twitter, I looked for @jamield, half-expecting to find her actively posting. Instead, I felt a knot in my stomach when I saw that her last update was just after noon on May 9:

Driving to Dana Point to spend the day on a boat. I know I just got home, but I really need another vacation.

I clicked on the Web link on Jamie’s page, ORD to LAX, which turned out to be a dialogue between Jamie and her friend, Marc. The most recent post directed readers to a memorial page on Facebook, and also to Marc’s flickr album with pictures from her last weekend. The Facebook page was a group with more than 500 members, and the album included pictures taken on the aforementioned boat.

In the course of a few minutes, I went from laughing at a witty post to crying over pictures of a laughing, vibrant woman ten years my junior, whose life ended the next day. I read more of Jamie’s words and found myself grieving over the loss of a friend I had never met and questioning my own mortality.

The more we embrace the “What are you doing?” mentality of sharing our real-time minutiae with the world, the harder it is to differentiate between immediacy and intimacy. We reach across continents and touch others, sometimes before we even finish our own thoughts, and then we become so accustomed to their daily (or hourly) updates that we are significantly impacted when the channel goes blank.

Jamie’s Twitter page lists nearly 700 followers; she was following 542. After seeing her pictures and reading more of her words, I know that several hundred people are experiencing a real sense of loss. Had I been fortunate enough to have known her, I imagine I would have clicked on her profile several times, still refusing to believe she had nothing more to say.

My heart goes out to Jamie’s family and friends, and to everyone who is dealing with grief and loss.

When I was moving from Twitter to Jamie’s blog and back last night, I read a post by Seth Simonds that resonated with what I was feeling:

Let’s say you’re given 10 secs to call out the top five priorities in your life or die. Could you? Do you know what’s most important to you?

I believe that Jamie could have done it without hesitation.

Tips, Uncategorized

Be Excellent: Know When to Go Off-Script

In Goodnight Opus, the children’s book by Berkeley Breathed, the Bloom County penguin becomes bored with Granny’s nightly recitation of Goodnight Moon. When Granny falls asleep reading to him, Opus departs the text.

Departing the text takes him from the mundane to the magical. We can all learn something about excellence from Opus.

It is impossible to provide first-rate service to everyone if you are unwilling to depart the text. Call center and help desk staffers, read: if you are not brave enough to depart the script from time to time, you will ultimately irritate more people than you help.

A recent call to the DSL support line of a telephone and telegraph company in America went something like this:

CALLER
My modem isn’t working. It had been dropping me offline frequently, and now it won’t connect at all.

TECH SUPPORT
If the power light on your modem is red, it means the modem isn’t working.

CALLER
The power light has been red since I got it, even when it was working.

TECH SUPPORT
If the power light is red, the modem won’t work.

CALLER
The modem worked for a few months, and the power light was always red.

TECH SUPPORT
The modem won’t work if the power light is red.

CALLER
This is the second modem I’ve gotten from you. The power light on the first one was always red, too, even when it worked.

TECH SUPPORT
A red power light means the modem isn’t working.

After a few more rounds about the color of the light, the caller hung up in frustration and tried the “redial” approach to customer service. “Maybe if I get someone else on the phone…”

Similarly, a customer in a department store flagged down an employee to ask if they carried a particular product. After answering all of her questions with a string of I-don’t-knows, the employee pointed to a red phone and said, “You can call customer service.” Her response: “And if I call customer service, are they going to send you?”

Repeating a script that isn’t helping a client is no different than saying, “I don’t know,” ad nauseum. By adding just five simple words, you can open the door for stellar customer service: “I don’t know, but I will find out.” Then, proceed to find out, and keep your client in the loop.

Quality begets quality. When you strive for excellence in all that you do, others will take note, as Granny does at the end of Goodnight Opus. Upon finding her napping with a very satisfied look on her face, Opus believes that she, too, has “departed the text.”

What does going “off-script” mean to you? Are you willing to do it?

On Fame

It’s All About the Journey

Real fame comes from within. It is about taking pride in how you do what you do, even when what you do isn’t what you’d like to be doing.

T. Harv Eker puts it more succinctly: “How you do anything is how you do everything.”

It is a big mistake to think that anything is beneath you. To move through life with the idea that you will provide first-rate service once you have reached a certain level of success is to miss the whole point; success is the reward for excellence, and excellence requires practice.

Reality show participants notwithstanding, most “overnight successes” are people who have waken up famous day after day, year after year, until a critical mass of enthusiasts puts them in the spotlight. People who wake up famous every day know that time spent looking for shortcuts is time better spent on improving themselves. They have put in the 10,000 hours that Malcolm Gladwell discusses in Outliers: The Story of Success.

Paul Buchheit co-founder of FriendFeed and original lead developer of Gmail says:  “This notion of overnight success is very misleading, and rather harmful. If you’re starting something new, expect a long journey.” 

Recognize that life is a journey and that waking up famous is a choice. Jana Stanfield, whose lyrics appear below, continually celebrates the journey.

Life is a fast train through peaks and valleys
Streets and alleys and countryside
You never know just how far you’re going
The trick is to learn to enjoy the ride.

© Jana Stanfield/Jerry Kimbrough

 

Are you enjoying the ride? What advice would you give to fellow travelers?

Tips

How to Wake Up Famous Every Day

You are the writer, director and star of your own life. Every day—every moment, really—is a new opportunity to wake up famous. Begin each day by doing the following:

  1. Add value.
  2. Be excellent.
  3. See that you provide first-rate service in everything you do.

When you contribute something useful to one or more people, you are adding value. It can be a simple as a kind word at precisely the right moment, or as revolutionary as a medical procedure that saves millions of lives.

Only you can truly judge your own excellence. You can be an accomplished musician but fail to give an excellent performance because your mind is elsewhere. On the other hand, you can be a novice photographer who excels with her wholehearted effort. Consider where you are on the learning curve and then check in with your conscience.

Provide first-rate service by treating everyone you meet like they might be famous someday.

At the end of the day, go to sleep knowing that you have earned the air you breathed, the space you occupied, the respect of those you care about, and—most importantly—self-respect. The better you sleep tonight, the easier it will be to wake up famous tomorrow.