Monthly Archives: June 2009

Gratitude

Count Your Blessings Out Loud

weddingAdmit it. At some point, you’ve imagined what you’d say if you won an Academy Award. Or a Grammy, a Tony, an Obie or a Clio. Chances are, the speech begins with these four words: I’d like to thank.

Sometimes, award winners gush so many thank yous that they are musically cued off the stage. While an overly long list of public kudos is not necessarily bad, it can be a symptom of overdue gratitude.

It’s easy to feel grateful when you’re clutching a naked gold man. Oddly enough. But genuine gratitude is not something to save for a special occasion; it is a wise investment that benefits both giver and receiver.

Margaret Cousins said, “Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.”

Be excellent. Care about others. Be willing to do whatever you can to help others succeed. Maybe that kid you helped when he was the eighth-grade class you taught will invite you to his wedding. Maybe one of his former classmates will show up and say you made a difference in his life, too.

And if they don’t? Be thankful that you had the opportunity in the first place.

To paraphrase Frank A. Clark, be thankful for what you have or you won’t like what you’re going to get.

For the rest of today, remember to say “thank you” to your family, your friends, your coworkers, and anyone else who lightens your load or lifts your spirits, and mean it. Share your appreciation so freely that if–award in hand–you said, “I want to thank everyone who made this possible; you know who you are,” it would be true.

Tomorrow, wake up famous and do it again.

Authenticity, Tips

7 Tips for Waking Up Famous Every Day

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1. Be Kind. Period.
Be nice to the people you think might help you become successful. Be equally nice to those you think have nothing to contribute to you. If you aren’t inclined to behave this way for its own sake, then remember this: there is NO way to tell the difference between the two. The old adage about being nice to people on the way up because they are the same people you will see on the way down is unequivocally true. As Jewel sang: In the end, only kindness matters.

2. Be Who You Are Today. Be Somebody Else Tomorrow If It Suits You Better.
It might not sound like it, but this is the ultimate call to “Be Authentic.” Authenticity is not static; it is about being who you are, moment to moment, without apology. Interests change. Opinions change. It’s okay if yours happen to be all over the map, provided you know the difference between self-discovery and trying to please everyone.

3. Be an I-Don’t-Know-It-All.
When you are knowledgeable about something, by all means, share it. Never be afraid to say, “I don’t know,” if you don’t particularly care about an issue, or “I don’t know, but I’ll find out,” if you do.

4. Commit to Lifelong Learning.
In addition to following up on “I don’t know, but I’ll find out,” make it a priority to learn for the sake of learning. Read. Take classes. Listen to others. Practice listening to yourself without distraction. If the word “meditation” makes you uncomfortable, then call it something else, but do it.

5. Promote Others.
When you admire someone’s work, tell other people about it, even especially if you have nothing to gain. Becoming a one-person PR firm is the ultimate way to practice the Golden Rule.

6. Lighten Up.
Don’t go anywhere–including online–without your sense of humor. If you don’t have one, cultivate it. When someone advises you to lighten up, follow the same rule of etiquette as if someone had offered you a mint: take it!

7. Practice Forgiveness.
Malachy McCourt said, “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Forgiveness is something you do for you; it frees up your energy for better use. Forgive others, forgive yourself, and move on. If you struggle with this, understand that forgiving a transgression is not the same as condoning it, and you don’t even have to contact the other person to do it.

Authenticity

Buying a Fan Club Does Not Make You Famous

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fanclubAs a freelance writer, I spend a fair amount of time perusing Writing Gigs on craigslist.org and various other web sites, where there are always a lot of people trying to get something for nothing. Depending on my mood–and current workload–my response to these would-be slave drivers ranges from highly amused to moderately annoyed. The more ridiculous the request for free labor, the more likely another freelancer will write a post that: (a) blasts the original poster and (b) appeals to freelance virgins not to “give it away.”

If you own a pickup truck, at some point, somebody is going to ask you to help him move in exchange for beer, and, chances are, he plans to drink the beer while he watches you move his stuff.

People will try to get you to part with your creative talents for far less, because they know that you might say yes. And you might; only you can judge whether you are prostituting yourself or filling up your goodwill account.

Worse than those seeking something for nothing are those who pay people to write term papers, either for themselves or for resale. Frankly, it amazes me that students even consider such plagiarism in the age of Google-savvy teachers. I just hope that poetic justice will reign in the end.

Tonight I came across something that struck me like the give-it-away posts strike those who rally against them. shorttask.com sounded like a neat way to find quick gigs. I was dubious that a “beta” site would really have 66,566 tasks available, but I signed up to check it out. Clicking on the task “Provide Comments on a WordPress Blog” brought me to this:

shorttask1In a word: Ick.

It was the parenthetical suggestion that the Name and/or email address “could be made up” that prompted me to write this post. Click here  to see how following these folks on Twitter can land you three cents.

Again, ick.

Further inquiries suggested that any buzz about job-search sites employmentcrossing.com, sellingcrossing.com, marketingcrossing.com (and probably ANYTHINGcrossing.com) is as worthless as those “10,000 new followers” promised by Twitter-spammers.

Waking up famous–being excellent–brings its own reward. The people who follow you because you have added value to their lives are worth something; you have a reciprocal relationship. Nobody respects the kid who says, “I’ll give you a dollar if you’ll be my friend.” Nobody respects the kid who takes the dollar, either.

I’d love to hear your comments. Of course, if you’re short on time and have an extra dime, you might find somebody on shorttask.com to write them for you.

Tips

No Shame in Shameless Self-Promotion

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marqueeYou have decided to wake up famous every day. You have a product or service that is valuable to others in some capacity, and you are committed to excellence. It is time to come to terms with the phrase “shameless self-promotion” and what it means to you because: (a) you should be doing it, and (b) you will be accused of doing it.

If shame is “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety,”  then to be shameless is to lack consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety. You are not conscious of impropriety because, being committed to excellence, you are not guilty of being improper. Therefore, anytime you tell others about what you do, you are engaging in shameless self-promotion.

In her blog post Proud to be “shameless” author Brenda Coulter says:

If we sold cars, wouldn’t we put up signs at our places of business, advertise in the newspaper, and even think about doing radio or TV spots? Sure we would. So why do we call it “shameless self-promotion” when it’s not ourselves we’re promoting, but our books [or programming skills, or art, or…]?

There is nothing wrong with asking others to promote you. Artist Rachel Cotton  is asking others to comment on her web site or reference it on their blog in exchange for raffle tickets, of sorts, with the prize being one of her own metallic prints. What is particularly famous about this approach is that she promotes both word-of-mouth about her art, and she sends a piece of it into the world to promote itself from someone’s office or living room. Because it is unlikely that people will go out of their way to enter the contest if they don’t actually like Rachel’s art, her promotion creates a much more authentic “buzz” than if she were to give away something like an iPod.

You have something to offer the world. Offer it.

If someone criticizes you for shameless self-promotion and it makes you cringe, check yourself: Are you still being first-rate in all that you do? Are you still offering something of value to others? Is your promotional message, “Look what benefit I can provide to you” as opposed to “Look how cute I am”? And, perhaps most importantly, Are you experiencing some measure of success for doing what you do?

If you can answer “yes” to all four questions, then smile, say, “Thank you for sharing,” and dismiss the cutting remark for what it probably is: jealousy.

So, you’re famous, and there’s a billboard down there marked Leave a Comment. Go ahead! Be shameless!