If You Must Complain, Blame Drew’s Cancer

bdc_teesOn May 20, 2009, Drew Olanoff was diagnosed with stage 3 Hodgkins lymphoma. 28 years old and embarking on a new job with the mobile startup GOGII, Olanoff thought that his dreams were ending—at least, that’s what he thought for a minute or two. And then he did something first-rate: he decided to let cancer be the victim.

Enlisting the help of software developer Mike Demers, a friend who beat Hodgkins, Olanoff created BlameDrewsCancer, a web site that encourages people to blame anything and everything on his cancer. Fender bender? BlameDrewsCancer. Mullets? BlameDrewsCancer. Poodles? BlameDrewsCancer.

But why blame Drew’s cancer? As Olanoff says in his blog:

“I am trying to stay lighthearted and optimistic that since studies show that Hodgkins Lymphoma is 90% curable…I should do SOMETHING.”

And he has. By making the choice to shout at cancer instead of whisper about it, Olanoff has raised both awareness and funds. As of this writing, he had raised $3,000 for the American Cancer Society, $500 for Make-A-Wish, and $962 for LIVESTRONG, the foundation established by cancer survivor Lance Armstrong, in 1997.

In a guest post on the LIVESTRONG blog, Olanoff says that LIVESTRONG’s support made him feel “alive and protected, and surrounded by heart.” And, thanks to BlameDrewsCancer, Armstrong had something to blame for the broken collarbone he suffered several weeks before the 2009 Tour de France.

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The fame that comes from within reminds us that we have control over our perspective. We choose whether to focus on a 90% success rate or the other 10 percent.

Comedian Steven Wright jokes that he knows when he’s going to die because his birth certificate has an expiration date. The funniest thing about the joke—or the saddest—is that even if someone knew precisely when he was going to die, he’d be just as likely to put off doing the things that truly feed his spirit until he had “just enough” time left to do them.

Doctors sometimes hand out time-stamped diagnoses like they were library book due dates. If you’re not finished with the story by the posted date, you might be able to renew it, but if somebody else is waiting for it, you have to give it up. Those raised to follow doctors’ orders and institutional rules without question will accept this and let the story end right there.

The library imposes fines, but it does not send a militia to retrieve overdue materials. People who wake up famous keep their stories until they are finished, and they read them aloud for the benefit of others who are waiting.

What stories do you need to finish, start over, or rewrite altogether? More importantly, what’s keeping you from doing it? Name it, BlameDrewsCancer for it, and get on with living famously.

The opening image is from Thropic T-Shirts, a company that clearly gets real fame. For each BlameDrewsCancer t-shirt purchased, $8 goes directly to the LIVESTRONG/Lance Armstrong Foundation. You can also support LIVESTRONG by making a donation via Blame Drew’s Cancer Sponsorship Page.

Stop Complaining, Start Living

nocomplaintsIn 2006, Will Bowen had a famous idea: stop complaining, gossiping, or criticizing, and encourage others to follow suit. His goal was to make it 21 full days—the scientifically-recommended time needed to create a new behavior—complaint-free. Any uttered complaint, gossip or criticism would reset the count to day one; negative thoughts would carry no such penalty.

Borrowing from the LIVESTRONG campaign, Bowen ordered purple bracelets for people to use to track their behavior. When the wearer complained, he or she would move the bracelet to the other wrist, a physical activity designed to increase one’s consciousness of the negative behavior.

It took Bowen about two weeks to make it more than six hours without a complaint, and nearly four months to make it a full 21 days. Consider this: Bowen is the lead minister of the One Community Spiritual Center in Kansas City, Missouri. He says that it takes the average person four to ten months to hit the 21-day mark.

What happens when we stop complaining? We find that the things we don’t want in our lives begin to fall away, and more of the things we do want show up and stick around.

It’s like that with people.

The more consistently you practice excellence, the more excellent people will show up in your life. You will foster the positive, symbiotic relationships where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. You will grow; you will get things done, because meaningful activity will replace the time you used to spend in complaint one-upmanship with others.

Before you complain that complaining is a necessary evil, make sure you don’t confuse griping or whining with speaking up against an injustice to effect change. Complaining is expressing discontent with the way something is with no intention of changing it, as illustrated by this quote from Maya Angelou in the introduction to Will Bowen’s book A Complaint Free World:

If you don’t like something, change it.
If you can’t change it, change your attitude.
Don’t complain.

Remember, you are choosing to wake up famous every day, but in fact, each moment is an opportunity to change course.

Whether or not you read the book or buy a bracelet, I challenge you to see how long you can go without complaining, gossiping, or criticizing and to share your experiences in the comments section. Yes, you may think snarky thoughts, but even those will begin to fall away as you focus on the positive.

Good luck! You’re going to need it. (Moving bracelet now.)

At the time of this writing, AComplaintFreeWorld.org reported having shipped 5,986,564 of the bracelets worldwide, and that was before I ordered five. For myself. Because I will probably break more than one on my way to the 21-day mark.

 Photo/illustration by Nicole Seiffert.

How Singer/Songwriter Jen Foster Wakes Up Famous

jenfosterJen Foster, who would have “given [her] left arm for a major record deal” at 21, became an independent artist/songwriter/publisher because she was “too stubborn to quit.” She chooses to wake up famous every day by doing whatever it takes to stay true to herself. As she says in her Musings:

“I just learned as I went along, making mistakes, getting out on the road, and just trying whatever I could think of to get my music heard.  All I had at times was that inner voice telling me that I had a purpose in life and it was to make music.”

Foster’s willingness to stay the course has earned her a number of songwriting awards, the #3 position on LOGO’s Top Videos of 2008, and the opportunity to write and perform with other industry professionals she admires.

When she performed at the Dolores Park Cafe, in San Francisco, on July 3, Foster demonstrated at least five ways she chooses to wake up famous.

Say what is yours to say.
When Foster introduced her song Closer to Nowhere by proudly stating, “I am celebrating six years of sobriety,” she acknowledged the positive change in her own life without casting judgment on others. Similarly, when she introduced I Didn’t Just Kiss Her, her response to Katy Perry‘s I Kissed a Girl, she spoke no ill words about Perry, who has been criticized by others for portraying lesbianism as a trendy party trick.

Make a difference.
In Talk to God, the song Foster wrote about coming out to her parents, she sings, “I am different but my heart works just the same.” She said she hopes her words will help others through the process, something she will soon discuss with the HRC (Human Rights Campaign), whose Coming Out Project encourages lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and other individuals to live openly.

Share the spotlight.
Foster appeared at the Delores Park Cafe as a guest of Valerie Orth and Her Trio. Clearly, Orth is one who also chooses to wake up famous: she didn’t have Foster open for her group, the women alternated sets.

Be present, and don’t take yourself too seriously.
When sound problems arose one chorus into Foster’s first song, she asked the crowd if she could start over, unplugged, joking that she’d stand on the center table. Although she gave her dynamic performance from floor level, she moved through the crowd, playfully working the room, while the other musicians tended to the electronics. When she finished the song, she helped them complete another sound check, and then plugged in for the rest of her performance.

Say thank you, often.
Foster thanked the crowd “for coming out to support independent music,” acknowledging that she is a part of something bigger. She thanked Valerie Orth for the invitation, and publicly recognized and thanked her partner, Leslie, for being a part of her life.

Jen Foster is living proof that real fame comes from within.

Photo by Sporter Photography.