Category Archives: Tips

Tips for developing the attitude of fame.

Unconventional Fame

The Art of Non-Conformity

I started this blog on May 14, 2009. The general concept had been floating around in my head since 2003, when I wrote the phrase “waking up famous” on a list of possible short story titles, none of which I’ve ever written. But I latched onto the idea that waking up famous was a choice, and that fame wasn’t about the perceived glitz and glamour that so many people associate with the word; it is about being the best you can be in any given moment. A few months later, I bought the domain name wakingupfamous.com, and did a whole lot of nothing with it for four or five years before releasing it back into cyberspace.

In 2009, when I decided it was time to start a blog, I tried to purchase wakingupfamous.com again. Alas, it now belonged to a young woman in Singapore who refers to herself as “a blogger with an eye for aesthetics [who is] fascinated with social media.” I beat myself up for about three minutes, and then looked for an alternative. When I discovered that wakeupfamous.com was available, I realized that I liked it better because: (a) waking is a noun, and wake is a verb (in this context), and verbs are all about action; and (b) it didn’t matter if I didn’t like it better, because my original choice belonged to someone else. (Never use the previous phrase with regard to intimate relationships; it won’t end well.)

After I made a few posts, I fell into the I-have-a-blog-what-now? syndrome, which kept circling back to the word monetize, as in, “You are a complete fool if you don’t monetize your blog.”

Okay… add the “Books I Liked” widget from Amazon.com.

Yes, they were all books that I read and liked—all six or seven of them—but I always felt funny about its being there, as if I’d invited friends over for a dinner party and casually left a table of yard sale items in the dining room just in case they might want to buy something.

The truth is, I wasn’t sitting around hoping my blog would be the new Pet Rock. I did—and sometimes still do—browbeat myself about not posting more often, or not being disciplined enough to write something every day or every other day, or whatever it was I wasn’t doing but thought I should be doing. I show up at the page when something or someone moves me to write. It might be the same night, or it might be a month later, but it meant enough to me to release my thoughts or experience into the world, without thinking, “Gee, I hope this goes viral!”

I finished reading Chris Guillebeau’s book The Art of Non-Conformity on February 13, and signed up to be an affiliate moments later, because I have always been moved by the genuine, no-nonsense, I am NOT your guru writing style on his blog. Again, my thought was not, “Ooh! This might make me rich!” I had simply found someone whose ideas I was eager to pass along to friends and to anyone who found his or her way to my blog, for whatever reason. Even then, I did not rush off and throw a new widget on the wall. I wanted to take the time to explain why I was placing an affiliate link on my blog; I just didn’t expect to take three months to do it.

What brought me to the page tonight began as an intention to send a “Thank you” email to Chris Guillebeau, because he sent me a copy of his new book, The $100 Startup. Getting a package that you were expecting because you ordered something online is nice. Getting a package that you weren’t expecting—and finding that it contains something you really wanted but had not yet ordered—is very nice. And, it reminded me why I “affiliated” myself with him in the first place. Because he’s that guy. He has created a life that feeds his spirit, and he has tirelessly gone about encouraging others to do the same thing—not the same thing that he is doing, necessarily, but to create lives that feed their spirits.

I read a negative review of The Art of Non-Conformity on a web site called Bicycle Touring Pro. The author, Darren Alff, who claims to be living an unconventional life of his own design, wrote:

My fear with Guillebeau’s “The Art Of Non-Conformity” is not so much that the book contains few original ideas, but the fact that those who read the book are likely already converts of this particular way of living. Essentially, Guillebeau is preaching to the choir, when in reality, the people who need to hear his message most are probably the people who don’t read books at all – or at least not books like this.

The overall review wasn’t hateful or caustic—the author says he is “still a fan of Chris Guillebeau and his work…and [he will] continue to read his blog”—but I couldn’t fathom why anyone would go out of his way to dissuade others from reading something. Calling it “less than motivational” except, perhaps, to anyone “living under a rock for the past ten years” sounds an awful lot like sour grapes or subscriber envy. Recommend books you like, don’t recommend books you don’t like, but don’t try to prevent people from buying or reading something just because it didn’t strike a big enough chord with you. Or because three of the five people who reviewed your books on Amazon.com told people to save their money.

With that, I am shamelessly placing a link to Chris Guillebeau’s work on my blog. If you click the link, like what you see, and decide to buy something, I’ll get a little love in my virtual tip jar. And that’s okay, because I sincerely believe that you will be richer for it.

I’ll check back in with my thoughts on The $100 Startup.

What are you reading?

Hibernate. Then Wake Up.

hibernateA funny thing happens when we begin to pursue our dreams. We experience elation: We’re really doing it! And then we feel terror: We’re really doing it! Now what?

Hibernation is a necessary part of the growth process. Digging deeper into our creative well requires going underground. The danger is when we forget to resurface, hiding under the pretense of finding our voice. We also need sunlight to grow.

When we experience discouragement, we risk oversleeping. Or we issue the ultimate dream killer: Well, that didn’t work. Clearly, I’m not meant to do this.

And that’s a lie.

We were meant to do whatever it is we decide we were meant to do. And, if we stop doing it, for whatever reason, we can start doing it again the moment we are ready.

Allow your postponed dreams to come back to you like long-lost friends. The longer they have been away, the more they will have to tell you.

Photo by digitalART2; Creative Commons license.

Stop Complaining, Start Living

nocomplaintsIn 2006, Will Bowen had a famous idea: stop complaining, gossiping, or criticizing, and encourage others to follow suit. His goal was to make it 21 full days—the scientifically-recommended time needed to create a new behavior—complaint-free. Any uttered complaint, gossip or criticism would reset the count to day one; negative thoughts would carry no such penalty.

Borrowing from the LIVESTRONG campaign, Bowen ordered purple bracelets for people to use to track their behavior. When the wearer complained, he or she would move the bracelet to the other wrist, a physical activity designed to increase one’s consciousness of the negative behavior.

It took Bowen about two weeks to make it more than six hours without a complaint, and nearly four months to make it a full 21 days. Consider this: Bowen is the lead minister of the One Community Spiritual Center in Kansas City, Missouri. He says that it takes the average person four to ten months to hit the 21-day mark.

What happens when we stop complaining? We find that the things we don’t want in our lives begin to fall away, and more of the things we do want show up and stick around.

It’s like that with people.

The more consistently you practice excellence, the more excellent people will show up in your life. You will foster the positive, symbiotic relationships where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. You will grow; you will get things done, because meaningful activity will replace the time you used to spend in complaint one-upmanship with others.

Before you complain that complaining is a necessary evil, make sure you don’t confuse griping or whining with speaking up against an injustice to effect change. Complaining is expressing discontent with the way something is with no intention of changing it, as illustrated by this quote from Maya Angelou in the introduction to Will Bowen’s book A Complaint Free World:

If you don’t like something, change it.
If you can’t change it, change your attitude.
Don’t complain.

Remember, you are choosing to wake up famous every day, but in fact, each moment is an opportunity to change course.

Whether or not you read the book or buy a bracelet, I challenge you to see how long you can go without complaining, gossiping, or criticizing and to share your experiences in the comments section. Yes, you may think snarky thoughts, but even those will begin to fall away as you focus on the positive.

Good luck! You’re going to need it. (Moving bracelet now.)

At the time of this writing, AComplaintFreeWorld.org reported having shipped 5,986,564 of the bracelets worldwide, and that was before I ordered five. For myself. Because I will probably break more than one on my way to the 21-day mark.

 Photo/illustration by Nicole Seiffert.

7 Tips for Waking Up Famous Every Day

1. Be Kind. Period.
Be nice to the people you think might help you become successful. Be equally nice to those you think have nothing to contribute to you. If you aren’t inclined to behave this way for its own sake, then remember this: there is NO way to tell the difference between the two. The old adage about being nice to people on the way up because they are the same people you will see on the way down is unequivocally true. As Jewel sang: In the end, only kindness matters.

2. Be Who You Are Today. Be Somebody Else Tomorrow If It Suits You Better.
It might not sound like it, but this is the ultimate call to “Be Authentic.” Authenticity is not static; it is about being who you are, moment to moment, without apology. Interests change. Opinions change. It’s okay if yours happen to be all over the map, provided you know the difference between self-discovery and trying to please everyone.

3. Be an I-Don’t-Know-It-All.
When you are knowledgeable about something, by all means, share it. Never be afraid to say, “I don’t know,” if you don’t particularly care about an issue, or “I don’t know, but I’ll find out,” if you do.

4. Commit to Lifelong Learning.
In addition to following up on “I don’t know, but I’ll find out,” make it a priority to learn for the sake of learning. Read. Take classes. Listen to others. Practice listening to yourself without distraction. If the word “meditation” makes you uncomfortable, then call it something else, but do it.

5. Promote Others.
When you admire someone’s work, tell other people about it, even especially if you have nothing to gain. Becoming a one-person PR firm is the ultimate way to practice the Golden Rule.

6. Lighten Up.
Don’t go anywhere–including online–without your sense of humor. If you don’t have one, cultivate it. When someone advises you to lighten up, follow the same rule of etiquette as if someone had offered you a mint: take it!

7. Practice Forgiveness.
Malachy McCourt said, “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Forgiveness is something you do for you; it frees up your energy for better use. Forgive others, forgive yourself, and move on. If you struggle with this, understand that forgiving a transgression is not the same as condoning it, and you don’t even have to contact the other person to do it.

No Shame in Shameless Self-Promotion

marqueeYou have decided to wake up famous every day. You have a product or service that is valuable to others in some capacity, and you are committed to excellence. It is time to come to terms with the phrase “shameless self-promotion” and what it means to you because: (a) you should be doing it, and (b) you will be accused of doing it.

If shame is “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety,”  then to be shameless is to lack consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety. You are not conscious of impropriety because, being committed to excellence, you are not guilty of being improper. Therefore, anytime you tell others about what you do, you are engaging in shameless self-promotion.

In her blog post Proud to be “shameless” author Brenda Coulter says:

If we sold cars, wouldn’t we put up signs at our places of business, advertise in the newspaper, and even think about doing radio or TV spots? Sure we would. So why do we call it “shameless self-promotion” when it’s not ourselves we’re promoting, but our books [or programming skills, or art, or…]?

There is nothing wrong with asking others to promote you. Artist Rachel Cotton  is asking others to comment on her web site or reference it on their blog in exchange for raffle tickets, of sorts, with the prize being one of her own metallic prints. What is particularly famous about this approach is that she promotes both word-of-mouth about her art, and she sends a piece of it into the world to promote itself from someone’s office or living room. Because it is unlikely that people will go out of their way to enter the contest if they don’t actually like Rachel’s art, her promotion creates a much more authentic “buzz” than if she were to give away something like an iPod.

You have something to offer the world. Offer it.

If someone criticizes you for shameless self-promotion and it makes you cringe, check yourself: Are you still being first-rate in all that you do? Are you still offering something of value to others? Is your promotional message, “Look what benefit I can provide to you” as opposed to “Look how cute I am”? And, perhaps most importantly, Are you experiencing some measure of success for doing what you do?

If you can answer “yes” to all four questions, then smile, say, “Thank you for sharing,” and dismiss the cutting remark for what it probably is: jealousy.

So, you’re famous, and there’s a billboard down there marked Leave a Comment. Go ahead! Be shameless!

Be Excellent: Know When to Go Off-Script

In Goodnight Opus, the children’s book by Berkeley Breathed, the Bloom County penguin becomes bored with Granny’s nightly recitation of Goodnight Moon. When Granny falls asleep reading to him, Opus departs the text.

Departing the text takes him from the mundane to the magical. We can all learn something about excellence from Opus.

It is impossible to provide first-rate service to everyone if you are unwilling to depart the text. Call center and help desk staffers, read: if you are not brave enough to depart the script from time to time, you will ultimately irritate more people than you help.

A recent call to the DSL support line of a telephone and telegraph company in America went something like this:

CALLER
My modem isn’t working. It had been dropping me offline frequently, and now it won’t connect at all.

TECH SUPPORT
If the power light on your modem is red, it means the modem isn’t working.

CALLER
The power light has been red since I got it, even when it was working.

TECH SUPPORT
If the power light is red, the modem won’t work.

CALLER
The modem worked for a few months, and the power light was always red.

TECH SUPPORT
The modem won’t work if the power light is red.

CALLER
This is the second modem I’ve gotten from you. The power light on the first one was always red, too, even when it worked.

TECH SUPPORT
A red power light means the modem isn’t working.

After a few more rounds about the color of the light, the caller hung up in frustration and tried the “redial” approach to customer service. “Maybe if I get someone else on the phone…”

Similarly, a customer in a department store flagged down an employee to ask if they carried a particular product. After answering all of her questions with a string of I-don’t-knows, the employee pointed to a red phone and said, “You can call customer service.” Her response: “And if I call customer service, are they going to send you?”

Repeating a script that isn’t helping a client is no different than saying, “I don’t know,” ad nauseum. By adding just five simple words, you can open the door for stellar customer service: “I don’t know, but I will find out.” Then, proceed to find out, and keep your client in the loop.

Quality begets quality. When you strive for excellence in all that you do, others will take note, as Granny does at the end of Goodnight Opus. Upon finding her napping with a very satisfied look on her face, Opus believes that she, too, has “departed the text.”

What does going “off-script” mean to you? Are you willing to do it?

How to Wake Up Famous Every Day

You are the writer, director and star of your own life. Every day—every moment, really—is a new opportunity to wake up famous. Begin each day by doing the following:

  1. Add value.
  2. Be excellent.
  3. See that you provide first-rate service in everything you do.

When you contribute something useful to one or more people, you are adding value. It can be a simple as a kind word at precisely the right moment, or as revolutionary as a medical procedure that saves millions of lives.

Only you can truly judge your own excellence. You can be an accomplished musician but fail to give an excellent performance because your mind is elsewhere. On the other hand, you can be a novice photographer who excels with her wholehearted effort. Consider where you are on the learning curve and then check in with your conscience.

Provide first-rate service by treating everyone you meet like they might be famous someday.

At the end of the day, go to sleep knowing that you have earned the air you breathed, the space you occupied, the respect of those you care about, and—most importantly—self-respect. The better you sleep tonight, the easier it will be to wake up famous tomorrow.